| | IN-HOUSE | FREELANCE |
| Attire: | Business Casual | Socks |
| Office Space: | The size of a small kitchen | The kitchen |
| Medical Benefits: | HMO | SOL |
| Vacation Time: | 2 weeks | 52 Weeks |
| Office Politics: | Ignoring people who talk behind your back | Ignoring strange voices in the back of your head. |
| Rules: | No smoking on premises | No smoking in bed |
| Bending rules: | Wasting corp $'s on personal long-distance phone calls . | Trying not to spend too much on 900 #'s |
| Best Advantage: | Steady income, all benefits paid | No need to shower daily |
| Lunch: | Have huge expense acct. but get taken to a fancy feast by a freelancer | Eat Fancy Feast (12 oz. can) |
| Playing the game: | Kissing corp. butt | Kissing messenger butt
|
| 3:00 appt: | With the head honcho | With Rikki Lake |
| Not feeling well: | Call in Sick | Suffer |
| Most dreaded sound: | A ringing telephone | A silent telephone |
| For extra money: | You can freelance on the side | You can mow lawns on the side |
| Greatest ambition: | Going freelance | Retiring |
| Greatest fear: | Getting fired | Going back in-house
|
